1. Village People will see you on N.T.A news when you are giving your opinion about ASUU strike by roadside …and they will think you have made it in life boom they give you stroke. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 2. Dangote lost 6.5m this year….but he is still breathing fyn….I just lost #500 nd my heart is doing me somehow๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 3. My sister if your Boyfriend is cheating on you with another girl, don’t cry just steal that girl’s number from his phone. Call that lady ,pretend to be his sister and thank her for encouraging him for taking his H.I.V. drugs ,then sit back and watch. God will handle the rest. ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€โš• Don’t forget to thank me later ๐Ÿ˜ 4. Infact the way some girls love old men, I know even in heaven you will see them chilling with Abraham, Noah and Moses .๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 5. On my wedding day during the kissing section in church…. My Rev fr. Should kukuma bring bed, Because we die here today๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 5. *THIS ONE OFF ME*๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Dear sisters, you see that guy that always say to you “I’m not like other guys” He is the main leader and coordinator of *”Other Guys Association” (OGA) ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚* ๐Ÿ˜‚ 6. Sleeping without money in your pockets is very risky. What if u dream finding urself in a taxi๐Ÿš•, how will you pay? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 7. Some people will be complaining that the government doesn’t stick to their promises. Okay lemme ask you, the coke you bought last week, have u returned the bottle??? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 8. That Moment when You’re Losing In A Fight And Someone Shouts “Allow Them To Fight”๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ It’s either you become John Cena or Usain Bolt ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 9. A school teacher asked his pupils to name 6 animals that live in water, PUPIL ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚: frog TEACHER: Very good, name the other 5 KOKKA: the frog’s mother, Father, sisters, brother and cousins. TEACHER:fainted ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 10. Old People Will Act As If They Know Everything Until Its Time To Load Airtime On their Phone. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 11. We should love and not fall in love. Bโ€™coz everything that falls, gets broken. That is our problem ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 12. You will know sorcery is real when you start dosing off when examination is in progress๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ 13. Any girl who has pink lips was created by God The rest are descendants of Nicky Minaj๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Quietly argue with your ancestors๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ 14. Any cat that has survived more than one year in Calabar region has the spirit of Mike Tyson ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 15. Your gf broke up with you cos u are BROKE Instead of u to search for job, you are searching for new girl.. ๐Ÿ˜” Your village people are winning ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜ 16. *She’s nt gud in Bed* *She’s nt gud in Bed* *Brother Have u tried Chair , floor or Table…?* *Don’t just judge with one position*๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š 17. Nothing confuses a girl like a RICH Guy asking if she has a boyfriend. D girl will be lyk “somtyms i have, somtyms i don’t” ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃwell-done my sister๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 18. The energy which our slay queens use to hold their breath to make their stomach flat in pictures could be used to carry blocks to power our electricity in this country 247๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿป๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฟโ€โ™‚๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฟโ€โ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 19. Girls in 2018, please reduce your cheating rate At least one guy per local government ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 20. Breast that cannot face your boyfriend rather its facing the floor Is that one a breast? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 21. I know ladies who have been 29years for 6 years now ๐Ÿคซ Aunty, are you afraid of 30? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ 22. You carry one prostitute for a night, you gave her 15k. Your girlfriend come spend 1week with you, you gave her 5k My brother, 4bedroom flat is waiting for you in hellfire๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 23. Girls, If you undress yourself and walks toward me sexually, I will just remove my trouser, lose my belt ………. and flog you. I hate nonsense ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‚ 24. Those who help my parent to catch me when ever dey want to beat me wen I was a kid๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„ Hope u are now working at national security now๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ‘Š ๐Ÿ˜‚ 25. You think heart break is painful.. Have you washed 15 white bedsheets and spread it on a rope and the rope cut๐Ÿ˜ฌ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚… 26. I’ve been praying to God to remove all the fake things in my life. Now I can’t find my GUCCI Cap.๐Ÿ˜ข