- Village People will see you on N.T.A news when you are giving your opinion about ASUU strike by roadside โฆand they will think you have made it in life boom they give you stroke.
๐๐๐
๐ - Dangote lost 6.5m this yearโฆ.but he is still breathing fynโฆ.I just lost #500 nd my heart is doing me somehow๐๐๐๐
๐ - My sister if your Boyfriend is cheating on you with another girl, don’t cry just steal that girl’s number from his phone.
Call that lady ,pretend to be his sister and thank her for encouraging him for taking his H.I.V. drugs ,then sit back and watch.
God will handle the rest.
๐๐คฃ๐๐จ๐ฝโโ
Don’t forget to thank me later
๐ - Infact the way some girls love old men, I know even in heaven you will see them chilling with Abraham, Noah and Moses .๐๐๐
๐ - On my wedding day during the kissing section in churchโฆ.
My Rev fr. Should kukuma bring bed,
Because we die here today๐๐๐๐
๐ - THIS ONE OFF ME๐๐๐
Dear sisters, you see that guy that always say to you “I’m not like other guys” He is the main leader and coordinator of “Other Guys Association” (OGA) ๐๐๐
๐ - Sleeping without money in your pockets is very risky. What if u dream finding urself in a taxi๐,
how will you pay? ๐๐๐
๐ - Some people will be complaining that the government doesn’t stick to their promises.
Okay lemme ask you, the coke you bought last week, have u returned the bottle??? ๐
๐ - That Moment when You’re Losing In A Fight And Someone Shouts “Allow Them To Fight”๐ญ๐ญ๐๐
It’s either you become John Cena or Usain Bolt
๐๐๐
๐ - A school teacher asked his pupils to name 6 animals that live in water,
PUPIL ๐โโ: frog
TEACHER: Very good, name the other 5
KOKKA: the frog’s mother, Father, sisters, brother and cousins.
TEACHER:fainted ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐ - Old People Will Act As If They Know Everything Until Its Time To Load Airtime On their Phone. ๐๐๐๐
๐ - We should love and not fall in love. Bโcoz everything that falls, gets broken.
That is our problem ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐ - You will know sorcery is real when you start dosing off when examination is in progress๐๐๐
- Any girl who has pink lips was created by God
The rest are descendants of Nicky Minaj๐๐๐
Quietly argue with your ancestors๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐ - Any cat that has survived more than one year in Calabar region has the spirit of Mike Tyson
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐
๐ - Your gf broke up with you cos u are BROKE
Instead of u to search for job, you are searching for new girl.. ๐
Your village people are winning ๐๐๐
๐ - She’s nt gud in Bed
She’s nt gud in Bed
Brother Have u tried Chair , floor or Tableโฆ?
Don’t just judge with one position๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ - Nothing confuses a girl like a RICH Guy asking if she has a boyfriend. D girl will be lyk “somtyms i have, somtyms i don’t” ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃwell-done my sister๐๐๐
๐ - The energy which our slay queens use to hold their breath to make their stomach flat in pictures could be used to carry blocks to power our electricity in this country 247๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐บ๐ป๐บ๐ป๐๐ฟโโ๐๐ฟโโ
๐ - Girls in 2018, please reduce your cheating rate
At least one guy per local government
๐๐๐๐
๐ - Breast that cannot face your boyfriend rather its facing the floor
Is that one a breast?
๐๐๐
๐ - I know ladies who have been 29years for 6 years now ๐คซ
Aunty, are you afraid of 30?
๐๐๐๐ - You carry one prostitute for a night, you gave her 15k.
Your girlfriend come spend 1week with you, you gave her 5k
My brother, 4bedroom flat is waiting for you in hellfire๐๐๐
๐
- Girls, If you undress yourself and walks toward me sexually,
I will just remove my trouser, lose my belt โฆโฆโฆ.
and flog you.
I hate nonsense
๐๐๐
๐ - Those who help my parent to catch me when ever dey want to beat me wen I was a kid๐๐
Hope u are now working at national security now๐๐๐๐ฃ๐
๐ - You think heart break is painful..
Have you washed 15 white bedsheets and spread it on a rope and the rope cut๐ฌ
๐๐๐๐๐โฆ - I’ve been praying to God to remove all the fake things in my life.
Now I can’t find my GUCCI Cap.๐ข